Jeopardy of Doom
by otherrealmwriter
Summary: Dib gets an idea to expose Zim from SNL but it backfires in his face. A parody of Celerbity Jeopardy on Saturday Night Live
1. The idea from SNL

Jeopardy of doom

Note: I don't own Invader Zim okay?

Chap. 1 the idea from SNL

Dib was lying on the couch banging his big head against the arm of it.

" My 236th plan this year ruined by GIR and tacos this time!" Dib yelled

" Your voice is stupid!" Gaz said coming home late again but Professor Membrane didn't care as long as she wasn't arrested.

The clock said 11:30 pm so Dib made himself a sandwich.

" Sandwiches and pizza some way to eat for 14 years!" as far back as Dib could remember, that's what they ate. Dib and Gaz were often to make dinner for themselves or they'd go to Bloaty's but after Dib found Zim kissing Gaz there he couldn't eat there. If he ate pizza, and he rarely did, it was Pizza Shack.

After pulling a poop cola from the fridge he sat on the couch hoping to see the Mysterious Mysteries marathon on Sci-Fi but Gaz had it on Saturday Night Live and he couldn't fight it unless he wanted to ask for 2 front teeth for Christmas.

"At Zim's again?" Dib asked

" What's it to you?" Gaz asked hoping Dib couldn't tell what she and Zim were doing.

" Well nothing except…. ZIM IS MY MORTAL ENEMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Dib bellowed forgetting his father was upstairs resting for an early press conference the next day.

" Keep it down there son!" Membrane said

"Yeah professor get your beauty sleep" Dib said "a Benz for my 16th birthday does not make up for 16 years of bad parenting"

" Look Dib girls are not going to be over your Benz for 2 reasons 1 you have a bobble head of dad in back and 2 YOU'RE CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!" Gaz said

"You know I could tell professor what you're doing" Dib said tired of being the one scared. He wanted to scare her

" I'll say your lying. He thinks no creature will touch me and he'll go to his grave thinking that!" Gaz said

" Whatever" Dib said. Then the Jeopardy tune played " Gaz since when was Jeopardy on at 11:30"

" Fool! It's Saturday Night Live!" Gaz said

As Dib watched the antics of the comedians like Will Ferrell and others he noticed they made celebrities look like fools who didn't know what basic humans knew.

" They look like they don't know any thing the average human would know!" Dib said

"Duh! That's what they're going for!" Gaz said.

Then an idea came to Dib "Excellent" he said in a Mr. Burnsish way


	2. The plan unfolds

Chap.2 the plan unfolds

Note: I still don't own Invader Zim or any real life thing mentioned in my story OKAY???????

Dib woke at noon as he did every Sunday and got on his computer.

"This'll expose Zim!" he said typing up a note. Once he finished the door burst open.

"Big head you're to take me to the mall today!" Gaz said.

"Fine" said Dib taking his keys and drove Gaz to the mall "Nice one T.J. making me Gaz's chuffer." Dib learned that his father was called T.J. in college because he hated his first name, Thaddeus, and the J came from his middle name Jonas.

He pulled up to the mall and let Gaz go to Hot Topic. Dib wanted a new pair of boots but he never went in the same store as Gaz. So he walked down to Waldenbooks to look at the mangas. Then Zim came in and walked up to Dib " So admit defeat yet? "

"What do you mean? I could ask you the same question." Dib said

"Face it Dib-stink I'm driving you insane. I'm dating your sister; I'm the only person to care since her mother died. She told me your weakness. It won't be too hard now. Once I rule the world she will be the only one spared." Zim said, "Come along GIR"

Gir was in a little brother disguise.

"Wait Zim!" Dib yelled. He had a felling Zim would be there so he brought the note.

"What do you want? If you want to be destroyed, your ex-girlfriend'll do it," Zim said

"Ummm… no I have a note to give to you to compete for the ruler of the planet on Jeopardy Monday." Dib had gotten good at lying

"Fine Zim shall accept and WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"I look forward to it" Dib said and when Zim was out of earshot he laughed psychopathically

"Is that you Dib?" The voice of his ex-girlfriend came from behind the magazines

"Yes that was and you're looking at Daniel Radcliffe again aren't you?"

"Yes and he's more of a man than you." She said

" Claire come on he's in London and you're here! It won't work!" Dib said

"Look I dumped you because you focused on Zim more than me!" Claire was the average girl with dark brown hair and glasses. It hurt to dump Dib but it was for the best. "Well I have to get some new boots bye," she said and as her purple skirt and black tank turned away Dib felt a pang of regret.

"I'll prove her wrong and win her back" Dib said as he walked out a copy of Inu Yasha

"Hey Bighead you gotta pay for that!" the clerk yelled.

"Fine" Dib said, " I guess you gave me some good things T.J." he said as he paid for the manga "Crap! I have this one already!"


	3. The Tallest Find out

I DO NOT OWN ANY REAL WORLD THINGS IN MY STORIES OR INVADER ZIM OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????????????????

Chap. 3 The Tallest Find Out

"May Tallest! Hey hey! My Tallest!" Zim said

"I was curious to see when you'd shut up on your own but it's been 3 hours Zim! 3 HOURS!!!!! So what is it?" The Red Tallest asked.

"Excellent news! This'll be the easiest invasion ever!!!!!! I, ZIM have been invited to compete for the ruler of the pitiful planet. The invitation asks I bring 2 friends and I have selected you My Tallest." Zim said

" Well Earth does have the best junk food in the Universe so okay we'll go" The Purple Tallest grudenly said.

"See you Monday My Tallest!" Zim said.

"Computer!" Zim yelled

"Yes master…" It moaned

"What is this Earth show Jeopardy?" Zim asked

" I know! It's where people compete for money!" GIR said

"So how do they compete? Eat bugs? Sing? Pick a case?" Zim asked not realizing he was asking Gir for help but he was.

" No smart humans put their knowledge on the line for money!" GIR energetically said and then turned on Jeopardy.

"In 1906 this author wrote a novel that launched an investigation in the meat packing industry"

"What is chocolate pudding?" GIR said to the TV

"Who is Upton Sinclair? " Zim moaned

"Who is Upton Sinclair?" The contestant said

"WHOOO! You got that one right! How'd you know master?" GIR asked

" The Hi Skool just read it and I had to how dare they tell me ZIM what to read!" Zim said, "Well if that is what it is it should be pretty easy"

"Master Jeopardy is known to be filled with useless trivia. Are you sure you're ready?" Zim's computer said

"hmmmmm Test me! Now!" Zim commanded

"Okay who led the Gunpowder Plot of 1605?" Zim's computer asked

"Benedict Arnold?" Zim asked

"No Guy Fawkes. Eskimos have 100 words for…"

"Ice" Zim said

"Wow one correct. You'll need training."

Meanwhile…

"Why'd you say we'd go Pur?" Red asked picking up a donut " mmmmm donuts agggh"

"Look we'll humor Zim plus this is obviously that big head kid's plan. Why not have a little fun? And if he was serious I'll have those humans serve me the curly fries" Purple said. " We'll stop at McMeaties for some appley pies on the way home okay?"

"Fine. Earth does have the best junk food, only slightly better than Irk's" Red said

"YOU'D BETTER HAVE CURLY FRIES!!!!!!!!!!!" Purple bellowed

"According to GIR that's Arbey's" Red said


	4. The Evening's chaos

Please refer to my previous chapters for the disclaimer OKAY??????!!!!!!!

Every thing was going exactly as Dib hoped that Monday. The Irkens would answer questions like "You drink water out of this" with answers like "water is lethal!"

and "a toilet". GIR was recording the whole thing because Dib promised him a taco if he did.

"We'll take a break and be back after this" Dib said

"I'm impressed loser. You got Zim to fall for it." Claire said backstage

"It wouldn't have been hard but once the world sees this they'll know and they'll be sorry! Oh they'll be sorry!!!!!"

"Well is you wanted to prove they're stupid, you sure did" Claire said flicking her long brown hair

"Want to get a bite after the show?" Dib asked

"No. I met this nice guy, a foreigner, tall and handsome," Claire said

"Who Daniel Radcliffe?" Dib asked sarcastically

"No you'll see..." Claire said

"Welcome back to double jeopardy. I'd like to ask once again to our contestants please refrain from calling my head big! Anyway in 3rd place setting a new record of -$200,000 is Zim."

"You think you're so smart what with your glasses and your big head" Zim said

"Look what the hell did I just say about calling my head big? In 2nd place with -$15,000 is the Red Tallest-"

"Oh I'm just a late bloomer and in double jeopardy I'm gonna bloom!" Red said

in a nasally voice which was odd because he didn't have nostrils.

"Sure you will. In first place is the Purple Tallest with $14"

"Hey! Hey Dib look at the podium!" Purple giggled

"Apparently he has changed his name to 'Turd Ferguson'

"Yeah it's a funny name!" Purple laughed.

"Sure. Tonight's categories are: Potent Potables, Movies that start with the word 'Jaws' Sharp things A petite dejeuner, that category is about French phrases so let's just skip it..."

"Hey I speak a little French: you're an asswipe pardon my French" Purple said

"Rouge is Red in French!" Red said

"Who gives a damn?" Purple said

"... Animal sounds" Dib continued after the outburst "Condiments and Your ass or a hole in the ground. Purple it's your board so you pick"

"I'll take the condom thing for $400"

"That's _Condiments_! You don't know what you just said do you? Anyway this condiment is made from mustard seeds"

"Onions. I'll take condiments for $600" Red said

"No" Dib said and Purple buzzed in "Purple"

"That's not my name" Purple said

"Turd Ferguson!"

"What?" Purple said

"You buzzed in!!!"

"That's your opinion"

"I hate my job. It was mustard. Purple it's still your board"

"I'll take ape tit for $800"

"That's oh never mind. How about animal sounds for $600? This is the sound a doggy makes."

Zim buzzed in "Moo"

"NO!" Dib said exasperated. If he wasn't insane before he was now.

"That's the sound your sister made last night" Zim said Dib just shuddered " That is not neccary Zim!" and Purple buzzed in "What is Scooby Doo?"

"Oh God no!" Dib said

"That's right" Purple said

"No it's not"

"Yes it is" Then Red buzzed in

"What is Chamillionare?" he said

"HELL NO THAT'S RIDIN'!!!!!!!! Anyway we'd have accepted bow wow or ruff," Dib said

"Oh rough just the way your sister likes it

"Now that's uncalled for. Purple what the fuck are you doing?" Dib said

"I found this backstage. It's an oversized hat funny because it's bigger than a normal Earth hat" He said

"Yes yes go back to your podium! Final Jeopardy is ummm... numbers write a number any number 1,2,3,4 it's that easy" The famous tune played with GIR singing the Doom Song and Dib walked over to Red

"We'll start with you Red grinning like an idiot any you wrote-a bunch of weird squares"

"Hey that's 777 in Irken!" Red said

"Sorry we can't accept that!" Dib yelled in his face " and you wagered Foodcortia with a Dollar sign. Next Purple-"

"Don't bother I didn't write anything"

"Good for you" Dib said "Now Zim..." a 'V' was seen "well Zim V is an Earth Roman numeral so despite your best efforts you won and you wagered- Suck it Dib" with the v connected to make the k of suck

"Well that is all the time we have-" then Purple put the hat on Dib "-would you get that off me!"

"By they way I've got a date with an Earthling you know-Claire" Red said

"WTF? Claire he's 2 feet taller that you!" Dib said. Claire was 5' 5"

"So he's better than you and he's a royal!" Claire said

"Let's get going darling" Red taunted

Just then Dib started flipping out and cried" Why must I always fail!?!"

"Awww don't be sad. Have a piggy!" GIR said and played "Bad Day" By Daniel Powter

"Cuz you had a bad day..." Dib sang


End file.
